Hot and delish, not coconut shrimp.

So, i hate coconut shrimp.

This all started back when i was graduating from college and in the middle of one of the worst weeks of my life. Anyway my parents flew out for graduation and decided they were going to throw me a party 3 days before for reasons i don't understand. On top of it being finals week i was also in charge of the technical aspect of our department's graduation, that department being the Theatre department (i know, i know.), and an hour and a half worth of one acts/speeches along with the actual diploma part. Also i was the student production manager of all the auditoriums, and therefore responsible for setting everything up and making sure no shit went down. Also i was in the ceremony...WAY TOO MUch going on.

Anyway my mom DEMANDED that we have the party wednesday night after rehearsal at my cousin's house. Not the cousin who lives a half an hour away, but the cousin who lives a full hour near San Jose because the weather was nicer there. I call my mom, tell her i'm on my way. It's 8 o'clock I've been up since like 5am and am exhausted, arrive at my cousin's house, and knock on the door. No one answers and i'm thinking, "are they trying to make this a surprise? because that's silly i know about it, duh." So finally i call my mom, and she's like, "Oh this morning i decided to move the party closer so it would be more convenient for you..." and not tell you. Then, THEN, "what's taking you so long, you called an hour ago." So i tell her, and she laughs and is like, "oh, soo sorry, i knew i forgot something." and eventually i make it to this party that's now an hour and a half out of my way.

Upon my arrival my mom marches me into the living room, presents me with a table full of food, and decrees, "Look! i made all of your favorites." And i look at the table and i swear to god not only has she never made any of those things before in my life, but i haven't eaten half of them before, and i'm trying to keep this happy look on myface, and my sister is cracking up behind me, and like, "Yeah Lor, all your favorites!" because she knows (also Lor is on the bottom of my nickname list).

Coconut Shrimp is on the table and i try it for the first time in my life and think, 'i don't really like this.' Meanwhile Scotty (my brother-in-law) is like pounding them down, and my mom somehow get's it into her mind that it means i too LOVE coconut shrimp, i mean oBviously, it IS one of my favorites.

Also she went crazy for these edible ornaments she saw on the side of a truck, and kept walking around the party all night and demanding people partake in them, or 'get fruity,' also inappropriate.

i told you this because 1: it's funny now, and b: Now whenever my mom here's the words 'shrimp' or 'fried fish' she's always like, "Oh! i can make coconut shrimp!" and i cringe inside and have to come up with a completely plausible reason why we, in fact, cannot have coconut shrimp tonight. Fortune is not always in my favor, and i have ended up eating this vile creation more times then i'd care to say because I just don't have the heart to tell her. But tonight the fates smiled, i had already purchased/de-thawed some tilapia, and i now present to you:
Fish and Chips.


i got this recipe from the governess of NY, Sandra Lee.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.
Cut 4 clean potatoes in to 1/4" strips.
Put 1/3 to the side for no apparent reason.
Toss with 2tbs canoli oil, salt, and pepper to taste. At this point i was like, where's the fucking canoli oil, and started panikicing, then my mom came out and found this:


Because i can't see things that are right in front of my face. Bake potatoes for 10 min, flip, bake for another 10. If you start them on parchment paper, the flip is easy, just don't forget to grease the sheet.


Heat 2 cups Canoli oil in a pan to 360 degrees.
Mix 2 cups flour, 2 tsp baking powder, salt and pepper to taste, in a bowl. I actually recommend seasoning the fish, not the batter, but whatevs. Also my mom was like, "You know Seltzer makes really fluffy batter," and i was like, "Thanks, but i'm just going to follow the directions," which at this point say whisk in 2 cups of seltzer. Touche mom. Also i poured some 'weight watch" 'seltzer' into a measuring cup, and was like, "is this flat?" and it turned out to be tonic water, and not a mistake you want to make. So i dumped that shit, and upon opening my third half empty bottle found some seltzer that was usable. I was on the verge of using one of my cans of raspberry seltzer, which: gross.


Pat the fresh (de-thawed) fish dry.


Cut fillet's in half, flour, and cover in batter. Into the fryer for 6min, then the oven until service (at this point your potatoes should be done so turn the temp down to 200 f).



Our pot was small, so i had to keep frying them one at a time, and my mom kept coming into the kitchen offering to help, and i was like, 'there's nothing left to do.' So she set the table, and set up this place setting for my final picture, wand even busted out some of the carrot green! Which: thanks mom! How sweet. (also good thing you don't read my blog).

My dad has this saying, "Hot and delish, not fillet of fish!" I don't know where it came from, but at this point he comes into the kitchen and is like, "Hot and delish..." and just stops because he has nothing to say, and proceeds to march out of the kitchen. It was pretty adorable, but i guess you had to be there.

This also comes with a tarter sauce recipe, but unless you're like my parents and happen to have relish on hand, just buy it, it's cheaper. This is where we come to the last 1/3 of potatoes which they say to leave for "round 2." I have no clue what Sandy means by this, and ended up just frying them in the left over oil, which wasn't as good as the oven ones. Also if you've been keeping potatoes in ice water you might want to pat them dry first, so the oil doesn't almost overflow onto your cat that's obliviously playing on the floor with a piece of dust. Don't worry, I caught it just in time and Harvey's none the wiser.


Wah-la! Fried fish and potatoes, as healthy as you can get. The three of us decided we're going to have to eat veggies for the rest of the week, but so worth it.

*On a side note, my friend Kirsten is running a marathon for cancer, which is pretty freaking awesome. I added a link to her blog on the side list if interested.