Better Than Roscoes

So tonight i'm happy to introduce you to my first co-blogger Em-Y. Yaaay Em-y and i have known each other since the 2nd grade 1st grade when she moved from Long Island. We didn't actually become friends until high school because i don't know. We have a pretty similar sense of humor, and when we were growing up she used to make really funny comments to me, and I'd repeat them louder, and everyone would be like, "You're SO funny!" and Em would be all "i JUst said that." sure you did em, sure you did. Anyway she's going to blog in Purple because guest's choice.

We're going to make Chicken and Waffles, because i asked Em what she wanted to make and she said, "I've been hearing alot about this Chicken and Waffle combination." It's true, every time I put on food network, which is all the time, someone is talking about chicken and waffles. Sounds weird at first, but let it sink in... you'll want some too. So done and done. I've only been to Roscoe's once in LA, and they make some mean fried chicken. Our's is a Paula Dean recipe, and probably not as good, but whateves. Don't be putting down Paula Dean, it was pretty fucking good.

On a side note Chicken is my culinary kriptonite. I HATE raw chicken, and can only ever deal with it in skinless/boneless form. This is partly because of the nasty yellow goo (it's fat, not goo, but agreed) you sometimes find, and partly because the last time i made fried chicken i went to the farmers market to get a chicken and got home and realized the head and feet were still there gross and had to disect it but we didn't have any gloves and i had to use to freezer bags interesting second choice and i gagged pretty much the whole time. I couldn't even eat it afterwards, but Danielle and Scotty said it was alright. Needless to say Em will be doing the Chicken part of the evening, while i focus on waffles, which are more my speed.

So of course we started off with a cocktail: Watermelon Lemonade with Vodka from smitten kitchen. Em was a peach enough to bring over the Vodka.


Grey goose! no fool'n. And garnishes! Actually it was an almost empty bottle of Grey Goose that she grabbed from her mom. The conversation went as follows, "Mom did you see a bottle of Grey Goose on the counter? I was expecting the answer to be oh we finished that, but was pleasantly surprised that the answer was "It's in the Florida room, take it I'm done drinking"....noooot sure what that meant... So I found it on the bar in it's original classy box! Another pleasant surprise! Until i opened and realized there were only about two shots left. Disappointing.... So I grabbed a half empty bottle of absolute and was on my way, praying I didn't get pulled over and have to explain 2 almost empty bottles of vodka in my car. Also "I'm done drinking" priceless.

So we started with those. I made the Coleslaw in advanced sans mayo.


And now it was time to bang this shit out. We're the bravo version of the cooking channel.

So the first step with fried chicken is heating up the deep fryer. Usually you use oil, but as you can see in the picture, we decided to use unsweetened grapefruit juice, which adds a really nice citrusy flavor to the chicken. So it's actually Canoli oil that my dad stored in that container. Then pre-heat the fryer to 350 degrees. The fryer heats up best when it is plugged in, which we found out on the second try. If anyone tried this with grapefruit juice, let us know how that went. Also, thanks for only reading half our blog...

Okay so I skipped pictures of the next few steps because my hands were covered in chicken/egg/flour and I didn't want to break the camera. But you get the idea, season, egg wash, flour. It's Paula Dean's recipe, look it up. Look how gross that front thigh looks with the meat juice shining through... soooo gross. Also, ew, I have to agree on the point that raw chicken is pretty gross, but after it's done you get fried chicken amnesia and only remember how amazing the end result is.


This picture is awesome because this actually happened twice, but was only captured on film the first time. Quaz (nickname) said Hey want to try my cider? and since I'd only had a watermelon lemonade and some vodka infused blackberries.... or is it blackberry infused vodka.... well I said yes to the cider. While we were discussing how to mix the sediment back into the cider Quaz opened the bottle and sprayed cider all over the kitchen. Which is ridiculous because it was originally under carbonated. Which actually mixed the sediment back into what was left in the bottle, sooo...... problem solved?


Here is an artsy photo of the aforementioned drinks.... delish!

Anyway it was time to make waffles which i always want to spell waffels and spell check it like: fuck you. So i made the best waffles ever recipe which should actually be called the 9min waffles. Which would suck if you're making just waffles, but is awesome if you're making fried chicken and waffles. Funny how that turned out. Anyway i kept being like, "Em are these eggs fluffed enough?" or "Em do you think this batter is too thin?" and she was like, "How do you normally do that by yourself?" And i just don't know. Anyway at this point i'm covered with cider (twice) and i just need some fucking food. How does she do this normally by herself is right, she also asked me how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon, and a variety of other questions that led me to believe she is not really the one cooking in these blogs.... but she did make some kick-ass wafflels.

And then the 9 minutes were up, and our first round of chicken AND our waffles were done at the same time! How convenient!

And so I removed the chicken from the ironically named "Cool Daddy"... I don't want to know how it got that name because neither is it a Daddy nor is it cool, it is in fact lava hot. I can't help thinking about the "corn baller" from Arrested Development whenever i use it. Also, the basket that just came out of 350 degree oil is not immediately cool... and I have a blister to prove it. Awesome.


Look at that shit! If that's not 'hot and delish' I don't want to know what is. Also i think that the coleslaw was delicious with the chicken, and the chicken was amazing with everything but Coleslaw + waffels = no thank you. Maybe some caramelized carrots in stead? Hey, why not.

At this point you made be asking yourself, "Hey, what's with that first picture?" It's neither fried chicken nor waffles. The truth is i ran out of booze, and was like, "Hey i'll use some of that blackberry now infused vodka (two hours!) with the left over lemon-aid from the Porch Swings and it is the most fucking amazing drink of all time. Combined with my mom's V-Day flowers it's also a glamor shot.

hey thanks for joining us today on the "Emily and Quaz make shit show. aka the we drink and make shit show." (Key words: shit show) Tune in next time for some outrageous delights.