Monkey Poop Coffee

 So my dad's helping me bottle beer, and i'm like, "Want some pizza?" and he's like, "Duh." So eventually (forever) my mom gets home and we're about to go, but they're like, "Hold on, i just need to get dressed" for pizza (i mean come on). Anyway i wonder into the kitchen and i start to hear this voice, "Hey, you okay down there?" and i look around and there's no one. Then the same voice says something else, and i'm a little bit worried at this point that i'm hearing voices, but then i sort of recognize it as my Uncle's, and start to think i'm really insane (a common fear). Turns out i'm not (this time) and my Uncle George just decided to drive up from Virgina and surprise us. So i'm like, "Hey! we're going for pizza." and he's like, "I'm in." So we grab Phil, Nanc, and Popou (Harvey sat this one out), and journey off to the close (but shitty) pizza place up the block.
   So Uncle George pays for Popou's satellite tv (a yearly Christmas present) and therefore our tv (cause my dad was all, "Shit, i'll just by a box.) but his credit card expired, and they didn't call him about it, so our tv shut down, but this was during the hurricane, so we didn't have phone service or internet and thought it was all the same problem, which is ridiculous because satellite, duh. Anyway Popou calls uncle george and is like, "Indian giver!" and uncle george is like, "Whoa pops, sorry, i'll fix it." So then they're talking about this and Popou is all, "Buy me a ticket to Greece." (cause he's classy like that) and Uncle George is like, "Only if it's one way."
  About halfway through dinner Uncle George says (in a low whisper) "i got the monkey coffee!" and i'm like, "What?" and he's like, "it's like cat poop coffee accept better 'cause it's a monkey." And who can argue that point? I mean monkeys are rare... like fawns. So i'm like, "Hey, let's get some dessert too!" So i walk over to the mini-mart next door, and they don't have Enteman's so i ended up getting a 90 cent marble pound cake and haagn-daas coffee ice cream (cause it's the best). And i meet them at the car and i'm like, "Sorry about the crappy desserts." And UG is like, "Crappy desserts for crappy coffee!" Ba-dum Ching! 
  This coffee is from Indonesia and called Kopi Luwak.

So i start grinding it and he's all, "are you making a whole pot?" and i'm like, "i don't think so." and he's like, "How much are you making?" and i'm like, "I don't know yet." and he's like, "well don't drop any." and i'm like, "why?" because it's a hundred and thirty dollars a bag, that's why. So now i'm like, "shit." (Ba-dum ching!) But we end up making 8 cups, which = about a $60 pot of coffee. So popou goes to put milk in it, and i'm like, "drink it black!" and UG is like, "Well at least try a sip." And popou is all, "I drink black coffee because they wouldn't pay for sugar, never again!" and dumps like a ton of milk in it. My bad about the weird flash-back popou, sorry.

The coffee is pretty good, mellow and non acidic, but Uncle George said it best, "It's only worth the price for the first experience." Then he gave the Phil Pappas thumbs up:

But Phil Pappas will not be topped: