The In-Law Invasion

I know what you're probably thinking, 'Lauren you're neither married nor been in a relationship since the beginning of time, how can you have in-laws?' And the answer to that is simple, i don't. My sister, however, does, and since you basically can't have one Pappas without inheriting the whole pack, I sort of do. But let's start at the beginning. 

I come home from a long day at work to find what anyone would expect to see on their kitchen stove at 11:36 at night, a stockpot wrapped in foil filled with water and a coffee tin of paraffin wax being covered by a frying pan that is also full of water.

Nanc has many passionate qualities, but her true life's passion is fire-starters. She loves making them, she loves creating new ones, she loves wrapping them, she loves making me wrap them, she loves an opportunity to use them, she JUST loves them.

The basic fire-starter is an empty toilet paper roll stuffed with laundry lint and paper, covered with paraffin wax.  Versions and materials may very sligthly, but that's the basic jist of it. Also it explains the wax pot.

So anyway i get home, and i'm like barely standing, but i still manage to take a picture of this before Nanc sneaks up behind me and freaks me the fuck out. Then she's all, "Have you eaten?" and i'm like, "Not recently." and she's like, "Okay, there are cold-cuts in the fridge." and i'm like, "Okay, maybe I'll make a sandwich (but totally not planning on making one)." Then she's like, "Good, you can make me one too!" So, great. While i'm now roped in to making/eating sandwiches she reminds me that DPL's husband Scotty's parents are staying with us tomorrow night, and we're making dinner. And by we she means me because she has to work the next day. Also don't forget the appetizer and desert. Great. So they already bought a pork loin, which we just marinated in gravy master, coated with fresh herbs/olive oil/salt, and grilled. And also some heirloom fingerling potatoes that she made into rosemary potatoes, but was pissed that i didn't think to wash them before she got home despite me making three other overly complicated dishes. Anyway i made:

Butternut Squash Galette (appetizer)
Zucchini Fritters with Yogurt Sauce (veggie dish)
Peach Kuchen (dessert)
Kentucky Lemonade (cocktail)


So then i went shopping, and after dicking around in Barnes and Nobles for hours, it was time to buy ingrediants.

 Fail Aisle!

 At that point i was ready to start in on the cocktails.

7 lemon's juiced, 1/2 cup maple syrup... and let me just stop you for a second here. I was kind of grossed out by this, but then realized a) that it's really just another type of sugar, and b) i already basically drank this mixed with cayenne pepper when i attempted the Master Cleanse 4 years ago and lasted about 2 days before almost eating my hand off. Good times. 

2 1/2 cups of water. Mix, chill, pour over glass of ice with 1 - 1 1/2oz of bourbon (depending on how much you like the taste of bourbon) and enjoy.

Also earlier in the day i found this old Jelly Belly candy despenser, and was like, "I gotta put that to good use!" but fuck jelly beans. 

It's all about the peanut M&M's (right KMac? right.) But also...

Blasphemy! I mean find another place to store your coors light, Phil.

Hey remember when i was like, "I don't want to live in a house without cherry grenadine"? (It happened.) Well a half bottle spilled all over the kitchen counter and floor because they didn't seal the unopened lid correctly, and at that moment i did. Don't worry, i'll get over it.

Also Nanc took it upon herself to loose the rolling pin, so luckily Scotty's dad came up with a quick fix:

No worries, nobody likes Merlot. Anyway this is the butternut squash and caramelized onion galette:

It's basically roasted butternut squash, caramelized onion with cayenne, and fontina cheese half wrapped in a sour cream and lemon pie shell. And if it's possible for this to be more delicious then it looks/sounds, it is. 

Then i made some other delicious things, but forgot to take pictures because i was too busy in conversation/ laughing at Phil for trying to open the flour crusted Merlot bottle with a cork screw even though it was a screw top.

Anyway Peach Kuchen (which i'm going to give you our family recipe for) kind of sounds gross, but is actually one of the most delicious things you can eat. Basically you put the powdered mix from a yellow cake box in the food processor with a stick of butter and half a cup of shredded coconut, then press it into the bottom of a rectangular cake pan. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.  Meanwhile drain a 29 oz can of peaches and mix them with 1/2 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Line the bottom of the cake shell with that (you can throw in some of the can juice if you want) then mix 1 cup of sour cream with 1 egg (sounds gross, i know) and spread it over the top. Bake the whole thing for another 30min, and heaven.

It was almost gone before i could find my camera. Also it's a Pappas tradition to play Trivial Persuit when there's company, so we busted out the millenium edition because i left my most recent edition in boston at my aunts house, and half been kicking myself ever since. 

They have cool topics like skateboard, cats, and a midsummer night's dream. Billiards! (i'd honestly never noticed those little words around the edge before, but last night they were my favorite.Also i dominated that game, and i mean for serious. Watch the fuck out, trivial pursuit world.

This morning Nanc had two things to say to me and my dad.
1. "You guys, let's make a pact. Let's shake off the fire wood before we bring it in the house." Which, you had me at "make a pact" mom. That Maria Carey song is still playing in my head.
2. "From now on instead of throwing out junk-mail just wet it under the sink, tear it up, and stick it in these empty aluminum cans! We're making paper bricks, a new fire-starter!!"

Pure unadulterated passion. You got in Nanc.