Hail-y Day Donuts

Today was to be my first day of classes. I woke with the sun; bright eyed, naturally high, hungry for knowledge. I danced around my kitchen as my dad made "Gi-ada's Chicken Bacon Wraps with no Chicken," or what us common placers call Breakfast Burritos. They arrived with salsa (which my dad offered to heat up, gross.) and the fire of hidden passions. Anxiously i ready-ed myself with the proper attire, and set forth towards the first day of the rest of my life. My heart fluttered as i arrived on campus, eager to journey into this new world of learning. I drove down the entry, turned into the first parking lot, and... the fucking campus was closed. I mean really? It's like not even snowing, they close for rain now? Damn.

I know some of you are probs like, what's the problem buddy, free day! Well, no. I have to work later, and this little development got me out of bed unnecessarily early. Also, what can i say, i was excited to learn about The Giving Tree. So my heart gets shat on, and you get donuts.

Also it is hail, not hale, which i had to czech about a zillion times. Shout out to thesaurus.com (which i can never remember how to spell and always have to go to reference.com and link my way over).

I got this dough recipe from Simply Ming who (is sooooo creepy) makes good recipes. It's called Master Doughnut and contains mashed potato, weird. This is the dough, which i didn't take any pictures of while mixing because it's super boring, and my mom's camera ran out of batteries:


I'm going to fill half of them with Cream Filling and half with Blackberry Jam because i have a lot of blackberries. The cream filling is kind of a bitch because you have to mix the warmed liquid into the cold slowly:


Sorry this pic is shit, but Fact: it's hard to focus when you're holding a scalding sauce pan. Then it says to cook on medium for a minute, which is way too long and high. Then, they have the audacity to say, "if mixture is lumpy, pas it through a sieve." Which, first two s's in pass, and second passing it through a sieve does about as much help as not passing it through a sieve. And you don't have to clean the damn sieve which Is a bitch, in case you were wondering. No excuses for this shit pic:


The Blackberry Jam was easy to make. Heat up some fucking blackberries in a saucepan and add sugar. If too runny you can put in some cornstarch, and shut up about it.


After the dough rises roll it out to 1/2 an inch thick, and cut 1" diameter holes. I couldn't find any cookie cutters, and my dad's response was literally "Cookie cutter?" So i had to make do with the pastry bag tip holder.

I re-rolled the remainder, and they ended up looking like Mrs. Pacman, so if you care about looks, you're superficial. Don't re-roll.


The next part went fairly flawlessly, you proof them in the oven with a damp towel over them, they rise, you fry. Here i should admit that i'm notoriously bad at frying things. It almost never works for me, which is not so bad because deep frying is bad for you, but every once in a while i'm like, "I'll make donuts, do dooo dooooooo." and then my parents are like, "what are these black charred things?" So when my dad came home with some "Canoli Oil" (Which was too adorable to correct) he started singing, "Lauren's making donut's, who knows if they'll turn out to be gooooooood." So thanks for the confidence dad, but also thanks for forcing down previous charcoal batchs. (i know i said i wasn't going to use my name, but thanks to my friends and family's comments, that's out the window. Stalker #4 is on you.) Anyway i ended up frying them perfectly.


Well, accept for the pacmans. Anyway, my initial thought was to coat the cream filled ones in powdered sugar (that damn sieve again):

And the blackberry ones in in cinnamon sugar:

But then all hell broke loose, and the blackberry seeds got caught in the pastry tip:


then i changed tips/bags:


and this happened:


So at this point I was like fuck blackberry, and made all the rest cream filled, which came out alright:



Anyway these donuts were good, but save your brain and go to Dunkin'. I could totally go for a stiff drink, but instead i'm going to work.