The fan has been hit.

So this blog was supposed to be about duck breast prosciutto, but another day my friends, instead it's about how life craps on you when you're down.

So our heat's been out for a couple of days, which kind of sucks when it's 12 degrees outside, but you know, we were working through it. The other day it started working in my grandpa's house, and upstairs in ours. Today i went out to buy a new jacket, because mine decided to rip from the pocket down to the bottom seam. I was not successful, but i did get some socks and stuff, so all in all, not a bad haul. I get home and my dad's like, "hey! the pipes are starting to come on, listen to the hot water running!" And we did, and it was lovely. The thing about are house is it makes really creepy noises, especially in the dead of night in my bedroom. It's just water and gas pipes and stuff, but it's soooo spokey. Also the house settles and it sounds like someone is walking slowly up the stairs, and that always kicks in the toilet pipes, so it sounds like urination in progress. Or maybe ghosts have to pee too sometimes, what do i know?

All that aside we were happy to hear the pipes, my dad went to return something to home depot, and i set to work on my duck. I get to the part where i'm supposed to hang in for a week, and the perfect place for that is the basement, where i find this:


The basement totally flooded. So my dad's out, i have no idea how to turn off the water, and the only thing i can think to do while i call him is this:

Note the power outlet? Awesome. Also i grabbed the first towels available, which are my mom's good ones, so that's gonna be super when she gets home, i can't wait! So my dad answers the phone and he's like, "I'm pulling in the driveway, the waters in the next room, turn off the top knob. So i do, and while i'm doing it i notice this:



If you look to the right you'll see a spider, if you look at the black spots all over the yellow stuff you'll see 100 spiders!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Also that's where the handle is, and where i have to put my hand for at least 30 seconds. So i turn that as my dad comes in the room, and the pit beneath it explodes with water, which i didn't get a pic off, but this is the aftermath:

The dry part in the upper corner is the color the floor normally is. So finally that's off, the water doesn't stop, my dad turns off the upstairs water heater, and the furnace, then says, "well i guess we found the bad pipe." I just want to give him a hug, but i'm drenched. Anyway our plumber just got here a sec ago, so hopefully everything works out.

One final slap is that this is where we had the movers put all of my stuff:

Which for the most part is fine. We still have electricity and internet, knock on wood. My parents have been talking to me over the past couple years about selling the house, and i've always been like, "no! that's the house i grew up in!" But now i'm like, "Let's all get the fuck out of here and live like normal people." Which is my new life motto.