Carnitas!

I found this awesome carnitas recipe which led me to this awesome website, which led me to pickled jalapenos, which is just awesome. 

You can follow the directions from the links. Anyway to go with the Jalapenos i'm making black bean soup with toasted cumin la crema, green onion slaw ala Bobby Flay, the carnitas (oBvi), and for dessert arroz con leche which i keep calling rizzo con leche because: that's greek baby.

That was the start of the soup, how colorful! Anyway add that with dried black beans and one ton of water to a slow cooker and you're well on you way.  Here's the crema:

Start boiling that pork, it's Carnita's time!

Meanwhile soak the shit out of some rice:

 

So we started selling condensed milk at work We do a product tasting periodically, and one day i can in and they were like, "we tasted the condensed milk." And i was like, "What, why?" because that sounds gross. But anyway they had it with honey bread and said it was "a real treat." So i was curious, and dug my pinky finger into the can, and you know what? it is a real treat! i can't even imagine it with honey bread.

So let it thicken, and then put it in the fridge to chill. Meanwhile czech out those carnitas!!!

Then go ahead and make your own tortillas, like a boss. 

We bought a real rolling pin. Time to blend the fuck out of your soup, and top with the Cumin Crema:

Course 1:

I don't always prefer to drink dos equis but one time i was on a cruise with Scotty and Danielle, and we bought some rediculously overpriced beer. Anyway i got a Bass, which i normally don't really go for, but this one tasted like carmel apples, i swear it, and Scotty got a Dos Equis and it was oBviouly skunky. It was just rediculous how actually delicious the bass tasted and how terribly bad the Dos Equis was.  Anyway it was the last night, so the bartender goes to Scotty, "I'll give you your money back but sorry man, the kegs are tapped." and he was like, "Fuck it, i'll just drink the beer." He'd gotten through about half of it, and we had just been to the buffet and had this thing of mustard:

So i was like, "I'll tell you what i'm gonna to do for you Scotty, i'm going to grow out my hair. But in the mean time if you eat this container of mustard, i will trade my ridiculously delicious beer for your absolutely revolting one. And:

He did it.

Best bet i've ever made.

 

How fucking delightful is that?  Anyways when we were little i had this dog, Danny dog. It was my Aunt's that she rescued from the pound and she named her Danielle after my grandfather Dionysus Papayioryou but after Ellis Island Dan Pappas and sometimes Denny for people with a greek accent. For some reason she couldn't keep her, and gave her to my parents who were pregers with my sister, Danielle, who was so named for the same reasons. So, they decided to change one of their names, and i guess Danny Dog picked tails. Anyway i had this whole story for you that probably would have been great to tell at parties. I mean i was to the point where i actually scanned in a pic, but now it's lost to me and i just have this picture of my dog, so there you go: 

 Hey, here's desert:

Beautiful.