Hey Everybody, It's Christmas!! (CHRISTMAS!!!!!) (Ka-Blogger DPL!) For Christmas it's a (new) Pappas Family "Tradition" to make bagels (Because Jewish food for Christmas breakfast, of course.  Jesus was a Jew). So i started them last night, and then fell asleep on the couch, but Nanc made like an elf in the night and finished them. So i woke up this morning to find them ready to go. How lovely.

That one bagel totally looks like a butt squashed up against the plastic wrap like that, but a lovely one.

So of course Phil came into the kitchen and was like, "Why are we making bagels?" (This is after mom made a big deal of Lauren almost killing the yeast last night by keeping the dough next to the fire place all day, and then spending all night trying to figure out how to make these bagels, so I'm not sure why he was surprised at all) and i was like, "We make them every year since i got my bread making book." and Danielle was like, "So two years?" Whatever. Then Scotty was like, "I just woke up."

"Czech out at my awesome hair." (He said all of this with his eyes, also he looks like he just hopped out of an anime to save us from killer demons that want to feast on our bagels)

And Harvey and i were all, "Yay, it's Christmas!!"

You grinning fool!
So anyone who's anyone know that to make bagels chewy you need to boil them first. (Well, everyone except Scotty apparently)

This photo looks like you threw dough in the laundry.
Then top and toast. 

Meanwhile fill the entire kitchen with smoke because there's a chunk of stuff burning in the bottom of the oven.  Then open all the windows and let the heat out even though you have barely enough oil in the furnace to keep the house warm until Monday when the tank gets filled.
 
Then dad was like, "Don't make them too hard like you did last year." and i was like, "You told me they were perfect last year, and i thought you didn't remember making bagels." and he was like, "Like i said, i must have been thinking of something else."  It was the first time she'd made them, give the kid a break.

Meanwhile, presents! 

  This rainbow paper was the only thing left in the house.  Scotty almost had a seizure while he watched me go blind in the reflected glory of this gift.

That giant light thing in the upper right hand corner is actually a magnifying glass Phil uses (unsuccessfully) to read.  (He reads?)

Nail file!

 

 Who's up for some Japanese Hot Pot?  We're gonna Shabu the shit outta this thing!
Surgical scissors!

You gotta do what you gotta do.  
Fushigi!

What the crap is fushigi?
Scotty wants to be like David Bowie in Labyrinth. 

Puss and Boots!

You have no idea how proud Lauren is of herself for thinking that one up.
Fedora!

"How you doin'?"

Strife!

 By the way, did you know Lauren carries a box cutter around with her at all times?  She whipped this baby out of nowhere for Scotty.  Be careful what you say to her and pose for all her stupid pictures even if you don't want to.
 Reward!

 Kegging time... Oh Yeah!

Scotty later asked my dad, "So when can we fill these with beer?"
Then Danielle was like "Hey look at this totally awesome cocktail book the best sister in the world gave me." 

And Harvey was like, "Yeah look at that totally awesome book."

You can tell because they have the same expression.   
I'm not ungrateful!  I actually do like the book, I was asking her about a particular ingredient when she took that picture.  Her colloquialisms and cutesy inability to spell are masking her filthy lies.  Also, don't my nails look nice?  Mom and daughter mani-pedi yesterday that Lauren thanked me for getting out of. Your nails do look nice.

 And Nanc was like, 'How long do i have to pose for these stupid pictures, i just want to read.'

Then scotty was all, "Eat this Bowie."

What is with the glowing?  Is the power of fushigi to turn him into David Bowie?  Because the hair's already halfway there.  I could do without the man-bulge enhancing tights though. Spandex!

And then... Bagel time! How elegantly plated.

And i was like, "How are the bagels?" and everyone was like, "They're really good!" and i was like, "Like really good, or like you tell me a year from now they were too hard." and Danielle was like, "Well they definitely weren't too hard." and Dad was like, "Put it this way: if you were on Top Chef one of the judges would be like, 'these are a little under done.' but the other two would be like, 'these are perfect.'" Thanks for putting it to me gently Phil.  That is exactly what he was trying to do.  Do me a favor, and next time just shove them in the toaster. Anyway...

 I enjoyed them. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas one and all!