Breakfast of Champions

    As i may have mentioned before, we only have 5 minutes of hot water at a given time for showering; unless you plan on going for a polar bear swim, you're only going to be in the bathroom for a few minutes. Also the only bathroom that has hot water now is my parents because they put in some energy saving toilet thing in the main bathroom, so there's only 2 minutes of hot water there. I ask myself the question time and time again, "Why, after months of complaining, would they not only not fix the hot water, but install a device that allows even less?" The answer clearly is: they hate me. 
  Anyway so as i've just stepped into my parents shower, my mom knocks on the bathroom door and is like, "Can i come in?" And: Are you serious? No, no you can't come in. Also, also what could you possibly need in the five minute span of my shower that one of our other 2 bathrooms could not provide? You know what the only answer to that is? A shower. Fucking riddle me that, batman.

Today i made corned beef sandwiches based on a recipe i saw schleif make.

1. Caramelize some onions.

2. Make a grilled cheese, and heat up corned beef in skillet.

 3. Compose sandwich and devour.

Fatoush-a your face.

   So i love Greece... today i made Lebanese food, duh (they're similar).
   Like a year ago (though really a few months) CP (so nicknamed because one time i was like, "what's your middle name?" and she proceeded to state her entire name followed by class president, and also can still recite her entire high school graduation speech, and is therefore title worthy.) gave me a bag of spices containing: Sumac and Baharat, a blend. So today i used them to make Fatoush (which is just fun to say) and Kofta with some tzatziki. I got the recipes off allrecipes.com accept the tzatziki, which really you have to just make to taste.

I have a ton of farm stands around me, but i tend to go to this one because it's close, cheap, and i didn't work there for four years. 

And hey, picnic salads! who doesn't need those. Anyway there's just something about the inside of a farm stand that i love, i think it's cheap wood.

So i get home, and i'm like, "Hey dad, there's a deer in the backyard!" and he's like, "Not again, they're eating all the roses! grab the bb-gun." but instead i grabbed my camera, and perfect timing for him to run out and yell "AARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH-OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" like a zombie werewolf.

Then he went back to painting the heating vents, and listening to thriller.

So Kofta!! I got a pound of ground lamb from the meat market, and added an undisclosed amount of Baharat and 2 cloves of garlic:

then squish it together and mash it against a kabob.

Chill for at least 30min then grill, but if its raining or it turns out you don't have any gas left in your tank because your dad forgot to go get it yesterday even though that was the one thing he had to do all day, cook at 350 degrees for 20min. Meanwhile make tzatziki.

So something you may not know about me is one of my favorite things in the world is tzatziki. The phrase: "does Tzatziki go with that?" comes out of my mouth more times then "your mom." Anyway you're supposed to let the yogurt thicken for a while, but 1: this yogurt is already pretty thick and 2: i didn't have a cheese cloth. But Phil was all, "Whatever, Yia used to use a washcloth anyway. How long do you think it'll take your mother to notice i painted this? i give her four days if ever." So i used a hand towel.

Then when properly thick add cucumbers and garlic and don't fucking skimp on that garlic. We use a whole head at the Pappas house, no joke. Which is awesome when you sweat it out the next day.

Also CP was like, "add mint." and i was thinking: "You crazy!" but really it's awesome. It makes it really crisp, like ice water? whatever. So i got some mint from the garden:

and made a note to weed it one day. Next is the Fatoush. I got my mom this mort and pestle for her b-day, and i've been DYING to use it. So

Pestle that shit! or mort? who knows. Anyway this is where the Sumac comes into play with garlic, parsley, mint, olive oil, lemon juice, salata y peppery, and muscles of steel! Good thing i have plenty of those in stock. Really though grinding stuff is hard, and you def feel it after a while. Then you have this:

Which is really pretty! So that's the dressing then you make a salad out of romaine, cucs, scallions, and these awesome strawberry tomatoes i got at the market. I wish i liked raw tomatoes, because i'm told these were quite the find.

Then you toast the pita bread, cut it up, and toss it up!

So buy now you should have cooked your kofta, and you can plate:

And yes, I'm well aware of what the Kofta looks like, but i assure you it tastes quite the opposite. So much so that i left the living room to get a plate, and when i came back my parents were almost done eating. Popou didn't even tell me i needed to add red pepper, which is a first, let me tell you. Also the Barahat tastes like christmas, and reminds me of this Afgan restaurant i used to live up the block from that was also delicious, and the Sumac is like something i've never tasted before, and much better here then in beer form (which was terrible). So yay, Try new things! The End.

Jeremiah Pickles

So I’ve been planning on going to Philidelphia for roughly two weeks now, and about 2 days before my trip Nanc is all, “Oh hey, the wag’s (our long time friends/neighbors) have a beach house on LBI, so I was thinking you could drive me to the beach house, spend the morning there, then just go to Phili. It’ll be closer from there anyway!” I didn’t realize by closer she ment 15min closer on top of a two hour drive, so of course I was like, “sounds good mom dur durrr….” Anyway long story short I get home from work at 11pm, and we drive to LBI, and I’m like, “Let’s use the GPS.” And mom’s all, “I know how to get there!” Which may have been correct, but it would have been helpful if she told me (the driver) how also. Instead we ended up stopping in the middle of the highway because we passed the exit off 206 for 287 (Which if she would have just said we were taking 287 we wouldn’t have because I know how to get to the Bridgewater mall thank you very much) and long story short we immediately get pulled over. So basically I hand the cop my id/reg and am all, “sorry bro, the old woman doesn’t know how to give directions,” (not a direct quote) and he’s like, “It’s cool kid, safe journeys!” (also not direct). Then we end up at this ghetto cafeteria burger king with 30 jersey shore look-a-likes, and Nanc is all commenting (loudly) on their outfits, and I’m like ‘get me the fuck out of here.’ And someone hears me because we leave with the worst coffee in the world, and eventually end up at LBI.  

                And it is beautiful. Night time shore is my favorite time. I tried to take some pics, but they didn’t come out (or if you quote the Spreenster: “This is like, the worst picture in the history of Facebook. “ (that is a direct quote). 

Anyway I went for a beach night walk, and it was awesome, the end.

                So the next day I chill with the wags, we go to Marvels, the best donut shop in the world, then swim in the violent ocean (which pantsed me twice) and pass out on the beach. So basically the best morning ever.

Then it’s time for my 1 hour and 45 min drive to Phili, but not without passing...

The Custard Hut!!! Oh the memories. Basically we passed it one day and i was like, "The Custard Hut!!!! Let's go there!!" and everyone was like, "Shut up Lauren." but then we passed it all the time, and i wouldn't, and eventually we went there and it was delicious. The moral of this story is: Listen to annoying fat kids when it comes to restaurants. 

Anyway I get there and catch up with KSpecs and her dog Deaner, who would not take a picture without licking his wiener.

He like wouldn’t and then I’d finally get the click button figured out and then BAM! He’d be right on it again just in time for the flash. 

So I was like, I want to go to Redding Terminal Market and a brewery, preferably Iron Hill and KSpec's is all, "Ok Iron Hill is randomly closed at all of it's locations today for a corporate event, and we have to leave for Redding now, or it'll close too. Also there's this Italian market i want to take you to... oh that's closed." Basically, you picked the wrong fucking day. But anyway we get to Redding which is super sweet!!!

And i wanted to get this pork sandwhich with Brocoli raab that i saw on Man v. Food and have been dreaming about for years and we get there and...

Fucking closed! At 4pm. Ridiculous, right?  But then it was all uphill from there, because we went to the produce market and i was all, "Maybe they have Jeremiah Artichokes! And we asked this guy who worked there who reminds me exactly of this guy i worked with PJ, and he was all, "Do you mean Jerusalem artichokes also known as Sun-chokes?" and i was like, "Sir, that is exactly what i mean." And he was like, "Come back in 10 min." And we did, and he went down to a warehouse to get them for us, and i wanted to hug the man because i have been looking for these EVERYWHERE and haven't found them. So blah blah blah, produce.

Then we went to this awesome brewery Yards that has this "Revolution Ale" serious and they make beer recipes owned by George Washington, and Jefferson, and shit. Anyway those fools knew how to make beer, because it was delicious and actually better then their regular drafts. Anyway they legit closed like one minute after we left. Nailed it!

So then we went to dinner, and after watched an Always Sunny in Philadelphia marathon, which was fitting, and true.  It is always sunny in Philadelphia, which is probably why everything's closed (for good weather).
So then i went back to LBI, took an outdoor shower (because it love them) and ate a copious amount of shellfish at a little place i like to call Crab Tavern (actually called Terrace Tavern and Crab Shack).

And Nanc wore Flamingo goggles.

and i seriously chowed down on a plate of fried calamari (almost alone)  and a bucket o' shellfish (shared). 

So basically awesomeness. 

Anyway time to make some Jerusalem Artichoke Pickles. Boil this stuff together:

Let cool to room temperature.  Peel/Boil sun-chokes in water and lemon juice:

Yeah, they don't look like artichokes at all, do they? Life. Here's the actual recipe if you're for serious about this:

And they're supposed to be served with this meal, which looks awesome and is called Pulled-Pork Pig-out (Or: Things Lauren Pappas loves):

These bad boys keep for a month, so i might just attempt this. No, you know what? i will. I'm gonna do it! Don't even try to stop me, don't even try. Not gonna happen. Done, it's already done.

So then put chokes in jar, poor on broth, seal, and refrigerate for at least one week, stirring once to twice a day.

Anyway as you probably guessed from this epic blog, i had a pretty sweet weekend. Cool places, good friends, good food, good beer, man! So even when i woke up for work at 3:30am and promptly slammed into a wall hard enough to crush a just opened can of seltzer against my chest, you still can't help but think: what a wonderful fucking world.