Tube-Ziki

Welcome back to the bi-annual addition of I Like Making Things (because apparently i don't anymore)! That being said, I try to give my fans what they demand, so here we go!

 I'm thinking about changing the name to 9 Times Out of 10 A Mediocre Recreation of a Smitten Kitchen Recipe because that seems more accurate. So for this post i decided to paint.




Ha! JK, it's a recipe from Smitten Kitchen. Indian Spiced Cauliflower Soup!

So to start off i went to the store to get some groceries, and when i came back little did i know a monster would be waiting for me!

Oh wait, that's just ChibiCheeky (I wish she actually was the monster waiting for me!!). But what i'm actually referring to is this: 

Gigantic Beetle!!! I mean terrifying! It wasn't until i was doing laundry later that i realized Phil must have seen this too, and that was his inspiration

for painting the trashcan.With a brush no less! For texture i'm sure. Just to really bring out the beetle like qualities. 

Yesterday was Popou's birthday. He was born in 1926, so he's 96/97 because according to Popou the Greeks count the time you were in the womb as being alive, so on your birthday you're already a year old. And i don't know why this bothers me. Maybe I take issue with this because i'm taking a class on logic right now, which i hate is fine, but really:

1. You're only 9 months old at that point, maybe. So your not a year at all. Plus! it's your birthday, not your conception day, which also gross. No one wants to remember that day but your parents, maybe. But even if you were to actually figure all that out, you would still have to subtract it from 12 months and then you could call yourself that age, which is just Riddikulus. 

b) False! The Greeks don't do that.

My favorite is if you ask him he'll say in his combination greek/brooklyn accent "What's the difference? 96, 97, I'm old! Who cares."  Also, he came to this country in 1937 when he was 14 which is inaccurate according to subtraction. So either he was 11, or he was actually born in 1923 which would make him 99. 100 according to make believe "The Greeks." If i confronted Popou on this he would just say, "Loooren, Looren, Loren. Why argue?" And he's right! Why argue logic in an illogical situation? Even in discrete structures if P and Q are both false, then the statement is true. And Popou may be many things, but discrete is not one of them.

If you read the directions carefully you'll see that you are supposed to heat up the oil, put in the cumin seeds, wait 1 second, put in the fennel seeds, wait two seconds (this is actually what is says), then put in the potatoes and onions. You have no reason to walk away from the pan, because you're doing something literally every second. Except i did walk away from that pan, i sure did. I must have seen something shiny. 

So Round 2! (after failing on the actual first step).

 Success!! Time to spice it up!

Then throw in some diced tomatoes and water and simmer that shit! Except i used crushed tomatoes on account of not liking tomatoes except in cooked down sauce form. 

The recipe says you can dress with yogurt, but who likes plain yogurt? Lots of people. But if you're gonna throw in unflavored yogurt you might as well use Tzatziki (because that shit is fucking Riddikulus!)." The problem is i'm really lazy 'efficient' (I mean cut me some slack, I've just been through two weeks of exams. We're just lucky i'm already crazy.) I think this picture says it all:

*note: i rotated this in google photos then I rotated it on my phone and added it again to google photos and for some reason it's still not rotated. Fuck it.

So my Yiayia was a lovely person, and i miss her dearly. I can remember her showing me how to use a cheese cloth to thicken the yogurt over night, and how to keep tasting to make sure the balance was right, and i'm just... glad she's not around to see the way i made this Tzatziki. Because that photo and my shame are the birth of this blog title. 

So you might be saying to yourself, 'If you're that lazy, why don't you just buy a pre-made Tzatz?' 

a) They don't do the cucumbers right.

2. Garlic. 

So squeeze in some garlic. All the garlic! To the point where you're asking yourself, 'Is there yogurt, or is this just garlic paste?' 

Yes.

Then go ahead and squeeze that dill in. Like a champ! 

This is the point that i realize that like the rest of the planet, i don't like warm cucumbers. So i put some of the garlic yogurt to the side for the soup and end up with a cucumber heavy "tube-ziki." 

Also my Indian Spiced Cauliflower Soup! looks nothing like the photo in the recipe. 

When Popou likes some thing he says, "AND IT WAS A DELIGHT" angrily for some reason.

Usually he's referring to The Olive Garden, Red Lobster, or any place run by Greeks.

(**SPOILER ALERT: he did not say that about tonight's meal.) 

Anyway, i simmered the crap out of this, added salt, and wah-la!:

Discretely Delightful.